I Peter 3:1-2
A marriage marked by Grace
“Would you open your Bibles with me to...”
1Pet. 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
1Pet. 3:2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
1Pet. 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--
1Pet. 3:4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
1Pet. 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
1Pet. 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
Prayer
Intro
√ A marriage marked by Grace
Peter turns his attention to the marriage relationship and gives us the Lord’s instructions on how it is that husbands and wives ought to relate to one another.
That the Christian marriage might be marked by Grace.
Ap. Couples
Your most effective witness for Christ is your marriage!
A Godly marriage relationship will draw people to Christ as they observe God’s love in practice.
An ungodly marriage is a poor testimony because the world can’t see God’s love expressed in the lives of believers who do not extend Grace to one another.
Paul echo’s the same principle in his discussion of the marriage relationship in Eph. 5:21-33, specifically…
Eph. 5:31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Eph. 5:32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Wow! We see from then that the marriage relationship is a model, or picture, of the relationship between Jesus and the Church.
Is it any wonder then that we find Satan busy trying to destroy marriages!?
On the other hand, this is why a godly marriage is such a powerful witness for validity of the Gospel message…
…because godly marriages are so rare.
You see, when people see a husband and wife who really love one another, who really extend grace to one another, they sit up and notice!
So, for us who are married it is very important that we take Peter’s instructions to heart that our witness might not be hindered.
Singles, this is why it’s so important for you to follow the Lord’s instructions and chose a godly spouse!
√ Ladies first!
Peter deals with the wives first and how it is that they should practice grace toward their husband.
But don’t fret ladies, Peter then turns his attention to the men.
We’ll give equal treatment to both husbands and wives, so ladies, make sure your man is here next week!
Submission (vs. 1-2)
1Pet. 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
1Pet. 3:2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
√ Note the context of the command
Listen, I know I’ve already lost some of you gals because when you here the word…
“submission”
…used in the same sentence as your relationship to your husband, or any man, you shut down!
Please, before you run out of here screaming about “male chauvinism” at least give me an opportunity to expound the scripture for you.
Look with me at I Peter 2:13-15…
1Pet. 2:13 Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake, whether to the king as supreme,
1Pet. 2:14 or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good.
1Pet. 2:15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men--
And…
1Pet. 2:18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.
So, we note that the context of Peter’s instructions to wives is within his discussion regarding submission as a general principle of our Christian witness.
We’re all called to submit to…
Laws of the land
Civil authorities
Masters/employers
…and ultimately to God.
The point, just as Christians are not called to blindly submit to an unholy government, or law…
…so, wives are not called to blindly submit to their husbands.
Ex. Nazi Germany
Christian’s were under no scriptural obligation to support Adolf Hitler because he implemented laws and practices that were contrary to the law of God.
In the same way Christian woman are not under some obligation from God to submit themselves to a husband who asks them to be involved in sin.
Ex. Let’s start a meth lab to pay off our bills!
Ap. Husbands and wives
So, Peter’s command then is not some Carte Blanche that requires a woman to submit herself blindly to her husband in immoral or illegal activity.
Rather, it is a commandment to wives as their most powerful tool to witness to their husbands.
√ Note that it’s in the Bible
Please note that Peter’s instruction to Christian wives is in the Bible.
My point? I didn’t make this up. Nor where the Apostles male chauvinists trying to keep women under the rule of men etc.
Rather, this is God’s Word – so before any of you ladies reject the whole concept of submission please recognize that it’s God ordained and has a rational purpose.
What is that purpose? Let’s look.
√ The purpose of the instruction
Peter tells us the purpose of his instruction in our first two verses…
1Pet. 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
1Pet. 3:2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
…to win her husband to the Lord!
How, buy her godly conduct.
Men tend to not listen very well – “amen”!
If you really want to get through to your husband, don’t tell him…show him!
Peter’s point is that most men, in fact most people, are not going to be convinced of the truth of the Gospel message by mere words.
They’ve got to see the reality of the Gospel in your life!
The best Christian witness is a godly life style!
Ex. I was won by the change I saw in my girl friends life.
Ex. My mom was won by the change she saw in my life.
“Actions speak louder than words”!
So, Peter is encouraging Christian woman who are married to men who do not obey the truth to quietly serve them with an attitude of submission so that by example they might win them to Christ.
Ap. Ladies and gentlemen – good advise to remember, our actions will always carry more weight with people than our words.
The bane of the Church has always been those who talk the talk, but do not walk the walk.
√ General purpose
Peter’s instructions also have a general application.
The purpose of Peter’s instructions regarding submission, whether to…
Laws of the land
Civil authorities
Masters/employers
To one another
…or wives to their husbands can be summed up in one word.
“Order”
Order? Yes, order…
Any human endeavor, organization, enterprize, team, church, or family must have one person who is ultimately responsible to lead that group or they will go nowhere!
Without clear leadership that group is set for failure.
Ex. Football team with two people trying to be quarterback! The center wouldn’t know who to hike the ball to.
When a group has more than one person who is charge the result is chaos. No one knows who to follow, there’s competition between the leaders, and ultimately one individual wins out.
Ex. Government, business, church, family, sport teams
Even in a demoncratic government there is still one person who takes the lead and ultimatly is responsible to make the final choice.
Ex. War with Iraq – the final choice rests with the president. Only history will prove whether he made the right choice or not.
Ap. The family
God has ordained that there be one leader and God chose the man.
√ Does that mean that men are better than woman?
No way!
It’s critical to understand that God’s choice of the man to lead the family in no way implies that the man is superior to the woman!
The choice of leadership is an authority issue, not an equality issue.
In fact, the Gospel message radically liberates woman by placing them on an equal footing with men!
Gal. 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
God has chosen the man to lead the family to model the authority structure in heaven.
Ex. God the Father
We find that Jesus, fully God, submitted Himself to the Father’s will.
We find that the Church is called to submit to Jesus’ leadership as He follows the Father’s will.
The husband is called by God to submit himself to Jesus.
The wife is called by God to submit herself to the husband.
√ The advantage of submission
The guy takes the heat!
Husbands are responsible before God for their family. That means that when a man makes a decision that impacts his family, God hold him alone responsible for the outcome.
Ex. A new truck
What should the wife do?
Provide wise counsel
Leave it with the husband
Pray for him
Don’t bring it up daily! He will just buy it to prove that he’s in charge!
In the end whatever choice he makes, he will be responsible before God for it.
Close
√ Wives, you're called to show Grace in your marriage relationship through…
Submission to your husband in love.
Focusing on the development of godly character over your external beauty.