I Peter 3:3-6
A marriage marked by Grace
“Would you open your Bibles with me to...”
1Pet. 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
1Pet. 3:2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
1Pet. 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--
1Pet. 3:4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
1Pet. 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
1Pet. 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
Prayer
Intro
√ A marriage marked by Grace
Peter turns his attention to the marriage relationship and gives us the Lord’s instructions on how it is that husbands and wives ought to relate to one another.
That the Christian marriage might be marked by Grace.
Ap. Couples
Remember, your most effective witness for Christ is your marriage!
A Godly marriage relationship will draw people to Christ as they observe God’s love in practice.
An ungodly marriage is a poor testimony because the world can’t see God’s love expressed in the lives of believers who do not extend Grace to one another.
√ Ladies first!
Peter deals with the wives first and how it is that they should practice grace toward their husband.
But don’t fret ladies, Peter then turns his attention to the men.
We’ll give equal treatment to both husbands and wives, so ladies, make sure your man is here next week!
Character not clothes (vs. 3-4)
1Pet. 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--
1Pet. 3:4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
√ Character not clothes!
First of all, please note that this is not a prohibition against woman looking nice!
Some have wrongly concluded that this verve, along with I Tim. 2:9, mean that Christian woman are supposed to look plain.
Ex. Not wearing jewelry, make up, nice clothes or even do something nice with their hair.
That's simply poor interpretation of the verse and ignores the context of the verse as well as not taking into consideration the whole counsel of God.
We find throughout scripture that the woman of God are often described as being attractive, wearing attractive clothes, and even jewelry.
Ex. Eliezer's gifts to Rebecca, Solomon's description of his bride in SOS.
Gen. 24:47 “Then I asked her, and said, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ And she said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bore to him.’ So I put the nose ring on her nose and the bracelets on her wrists. (both made of gold)
The typological picture:
Abraham = The Father
Issac = The beloved Son
Servant = The Holy Spirit
Rebekah = The Church - the Bride of Christ
And…
SOS 1:8 THE BELOVED If you do not know, O fairest among women, Follow in the footsteps of the flock, And feed your little goats Beside the shepherds’ tents.
SOS 1:9 I have compared you, my love, To my filly among Pharaoh’s chariots.
SOS
SOS
Remember, the Shulamite is both a
real woman, and a type of the Bride of Christ!
Ap. The point - here we find in these Old Testament types a picture of God's work in the world to find a Bride for His Son and in both cases the bride is adorned with beautiful things.
God affirms that it's okay for women to wear jewelry, do nice things with their hair, and make up, etc.
√ Note please that the exhortation in vs. 3 is contrasted with the encouragement in vs. 4.
The point, Peter is not telling woman to let their hair fall wherever it may, or never to wear gold, or dress in sackcloth.
Rather, he's encouraging woman to focus on character development not external beauty.
Ladies this is important.
Too many Christian gals fall into the trap of developing the beauty of their body at the exclusion of developing the beauty of their character.
Ex. Invest their money in the latest fashions, their time developing skin cancer in a tanning booth, or forcing themselves into some unhealthy diet (or worse) to trim every once of fat from their body.
Listen, while it's true that you might catch the attention of a man with your external beauty…
…you'll never keep him with it!
Why?
Because if your relationship is based solely on your external beauty…
…you'll lose that man to the next beautiful girl that comes along.
Because there will always be someone more attractive.
Ex.
The most beautiful woman in the world can't hang to a relationship based upon their external beauty.
External beauty fades while godly character improves with age.
Ap. Ladies - it's okay to look nice, in fact if you're married your husband will appreciate your effort.
But please, don't put fall prey to the trap of believing that your value as a human being is dependent upon how you look!
Guys - if you're married, make sure that your wife has the necessary resources to keep herself looking nice.
Ex. Men, we think nothing of dropping hundreds of dollars on a new baseball bat, or some unnecessary toy for our car/truck.
But then we flip out when our wife wants to spend $50 to have her hair done!
Guys, let's treat our fairly and budget for her needs too.
√ Godly character
Note Peter's encouragement…
1Pet. 3:4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
Peter tells us that the Godly woman, rather than investing her time and resources to make herself more beautiful externally…
…should invest herself in developing the…
"hidden person of the heart"
Ladies, the real "you" is not your body! It's the eternal soul, which is housed in your body, which you've been given to use only for the short time you're on this earth.
Please recognize that you won't be keeping your physical body.
So ladies, Peter is telling you that while it's fine to look nice…
…don't get hung up on your looks - clothes, hair, and jewelry.
Rather, work on developing that part of you, which is eternal - for that part is what God is looking at!
√ Beautiful to God
What does God consider beautiful about a woman?
Note vs. 4
"with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."
Wow! God isn't impressed at all by our external beauty, rather, He's interested in that inner person who He wants to develop to be like Christ.
Of special note is that God desires you to have a "gentle & quiet spirit."
Why might that be so important to God?
I suggest two reasons:
1) Because these characteristics don’t fade - they're "incorruptible" vs. the external, which fades with age.
2) Because these are the best tools from God's
treasure chest of Grace to influence your husband toward Godliness.
How did Jesus get through to His guys on the last night of His life?
Ex. Jesus - washing the disciples' feet (John 13) while they were loudly and arrogantly arguing about whom was the greatest in the KOG.
Jesus was known by His gentle and quiet spirit (Isa. 42:3)
"A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench;"
Contrast the Godly woman to the woman who is only beautiful on the outside but lacks that gentle and quiet spirit.
Pro. 11:22 As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.
That woman is not really very attractive at all!
Ex. My wife is beautiful on the outside - but it wasn't her external beauty that captured my heart.
Ask her - I dated all of her friends and more while she silently waited for me to get a brain.
When we did finally begin to date the thing that absolutely captured my heart was that for the first time in a relationship I found a woman who loved me for ME.
Not for…
Looks (thank God!)
How much money I made (not much)
How prestigious my job or title was (it wasn’t)
Cindy simply loved me - just me. And for the first time in a dating relationship I found the freedom real love.
No longer having to win her heart over all the other guys who were available.
Men - a woman with a heart like that is a rare find - a treasure from God's own heart - and more beautiful than any super model can ever be.
Ap. So, ladies make the development of Godly character your priority.
Evaluate how much time and resource you invest in the external vs. the development of your spirit.
Ap. Guys - help your woman out.
1) Be an encouragement to her as she seeks to develop her spiritual beauty. Make sure she has time for church, ladies study, retreats, etc.
2) Pray for your wife daily!
Ap. Don't be a pinhead by looking at other women
Guys often excuse their lack of self-discipline by saying…
"It's okay to look at the menu as long as I don't order"
Wrong.
There's not a woman in the world that really thinks its okay for her man to be gawking at another woman - real or airbrushed. Get rid of those posters and your Sports Illustrated Swim suit edition.
3) Be captivated with your own wife.
Pro. 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
A Godly Example (5-6)
1Pet. 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
1Pet. 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
√ Godly examples
Peter closes his section by calling woman to look at the godly examples of woman in the Bible.
Ex. Sarah
Vs. 6 is a bit awkward in the NKJV, better in the NIV…
1Pet. 3:6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Difficult verse, I believe that Peter is referring to the
time where Sarah went along with Abraham even when he was a bonehead and told
her to keep quiet about being his half-sister because he was afraid that Abimelech would kill him.
She trusted that God would protect
her from Abimelech and He did!
Ap. When your husband makes a bonehead decision
We're not talking about a sin issue, rather, a security issue.
The toughest thing for a woman is to trust her husband to take care of her.
When a man makes a bonehead choice that affects his family's livelihood (home, food, etc.) the tendency is for the wife to fear for her security.
It's at that point that its most difficult to follow the instruction to keep silent (last weeks advise).
The problem is that if wife makes it a huge issue, the husband will respond in a wrong way questioning her support and submission.
Then the fighting begins, the man will either back away from his responsibilities, or become a dictator.
So, follow Sarah's example - praying that God would get a hold of your husbands brain while trusting that God will work it out.
Close
√ Wives, you're called to show Grace in your marriage relationship through…
Submission to your husband in love.
Focusing on the development of godly character over your external beauty.
√ Men, we're called to show Grace in our marriage relationship through…
Serving our wife as Jesus served the Church
Be keeping yourself pure in mind and body and giving your full attention and affection to your wife.
√ Producing a marriage marked by Grace