I Peter 3:7
A marriage marked by Grace – instructions for husbands
“Would you open your Bibles with me to...”
1Pet 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
And…
Eph
Prayer
Intro
√ Guys – it’s our turn!
In our verse this morning, Peter, inspired by the Holy Spirit, tells husbands that their responsibility in the marriage relationship is to give their wife…
Understanding
Honor (respect)
To that we can add from Paul’s instructions in Ephesians…
Love (agape)
Why?…that our marriage’s might be marked by God’s Grace.
√ It’s in the Bible
As we noted when we addressed the ladies, these verses are not suggestions, they are God’s instructions for those of us who are married.
That is to say that God expects us who are husbands to extend these gifts of God’s Grace to our wives.
To disregard these instructions is to be disobedient to the Lord!
So, it is to our advantage to allow the Lord to speak to us men this morning, and take to heart His instructions concerning our behavior and attitude toward the woman He has blessed us with.
Ap. Guys
If you will follow the Lord’s instructions here you will find that…
Your marriage relationship will be everything you hoped it would be.
Your Christian witness will have greater power.
You’ll protect your marriage from sin.
So, let’s get to it!
Instruction (vs. 7)
1Pet 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding,
1) Understanding
Understanding? If you’ve got an NIV it reads, “considerate”, more literally the Greek here (kata gnosin) reads…
“According to knowledge”
Or
“with understanding”
Isn’t that interesting!
God’s first instruction
to guys regarding how they are to properly treat their wife is an instruction
to get to know her.
Specifically, to know what makes her tick.
As a general rule men don’t understand women very well (ladies you say a quiet “amen” at this point)
Ex. The movies we watch
Chick flicks vs. action films
How many of you guys enjoyed the Anne of Green Gables series?
No, we’re all about blowing up aliens, cars that can reach 100 mph under 10 seconds, and putting the hurt on the bad guys.
Forget all that sophisticated dialogue, long passionate embraces, and the starry look in the eyes of the main characters as they say goodbye…
…let’s get to lopping off an Orc head!
My point with this silly illustration is to remind us that God has created us, men & women, very differently.
We think differently
We’re motivated by different things
We’re stimulated in different ways
Our priorities in life are often different
Thank God – we look different!
God’s first instruction then to husbands is that we must make it a priority in our marriage to understand and be considerate then of our wives…
Physical
Emotional
Spiritual
…needs.
Ex. Let’s get practical
Physical; have you ever noticed that men and women eat differently!?
Guys – most of us eat like pigs at trough! We’re noisy, sloppy, and eat way too much food.
Listen – your loud snorkeling, chomping, eating style makes your wife’s stomach turn.
Take a moment and observe the way you and most guys eat. If you’re an offender – be considerate of your wife and change your behavior saving the noise for our Men’s retreat.
Emotional; have you ever noticed that men and women have different emotional needs?
“I love you” – guys believe it until told otherwise. Woman want (read “need”) to be told daily!
Guys – don’t leave the house for work, or come home from work without taking your bride into your arms – look her in the eyes and tell her how much you love her.
She needs the emotional reassurance that only you – her husband can give her. She needs to know that she’s still the object of your affection.
Spiritual; women tend to have an easier time expressing faith and believing in the unseen world of the spirit. Men, tend to be overly materialistic and struggle to believe in what they cannot see and touch.
With that said, woman also want their husband to take his role as the spiritual leader in the home.
Why? Because woman recognize that their quality of life, the level of joy and satisfaction in life, are all dependent upon a right relationship with God.
So, our wives need and want us to take on the spiritual responsibilities that God has placed upon the husband’s shoulders.
It gives our wives a great confidence to face the daily challenges of life.
Guys – make Jesus the center of your home life. Read the Bible together, talks about the truths you discover there, pray together, come to church together.
Ap. Become a student of your wife!
Get to know her likes, her dislikes, her dreams, etc. Then minister to her!
2) Honor
What does it mean to honor your wife?
To honor your wife is…
To esteem her more valuable than all other people
To think of her more highly than myself
To respect her as an equal in Christ
To recognize her as having first priority in my life
To hold her in the highest opinion
To place her will before and above my own will
In short, the man who honors the wife whom God has given him is the man who’s opinion of his wife is so high that he chooses to live his life in a manner which reflects that high estimation of her.
He arranges his life, makes choices in his life, lives his life with her best interest in mind.
Ex. Career vs. marriage relationship
Take a serious look at your typical week. How much time do you spend actually investing in your marriage relationship?
How many hours do you work a week?
Do you bring your work home? (add)
How many hours a week do you spend talking with your wife?
Here’s my point; the number 1 issue in marriage relationships that determines whether it is a healthy or unhealthy…
…is the time spent together.
Relationships take time to establish and they take time to develop and maintain.
Unfortunately many couples invest a great deal of time to establish a relationship…
…but once married, allow career, and children, to crowd out their time together until they become almost strangers living in the same house.
Ap. Make your marriage the priority in your life
Honor your wife by investing your time in her – over career and hobby. If you’re successful in business, yet a failure in marriage…
…you’ll just be rich and miserable.
Ap. Secret for protecting your marriage from sin
Honor your wife by speaking of her highly and often. Doing so will send a clear signal to any potential temptress that you’re not available. Keeps temptation and opportunity from crossing paths.
Consideration
1) You’re a team
Notice…
“and as being heirs together of the grace of life”
Guys understand teamwork! Peter’s point is that a marriage takes two people working together to be successful. You’re the team leader and have your part to do.
“Attitude is a reflection of leadership”
We know that’s true in sports and business teams…
…it’s the same in a marriage.
Your attitude in the relationship will be reflected in your wife’s attitude toward the marriage!
Ap. How’s it look?
Make the appropriate changes.
2) Note the context of the instruction
“giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel,”
Husbands are called by God to honor the woman which God has given them in part because…
…she is the weaker vessel.
Some of you ladies may be put off by that, but please understand that Peter is speaking in general terms.
Ex. While you may be thinking…
“I can take you on buddy!”
…and you probably could! But, the average woman is in fact physically weaker than the average man is.
Ex. Men’s free lift record, woman’s free lift record. In fact, in athletics there isn’t one woman’s record that is faster, higher, or heavier than the men’s.
The point, Peter is calling husbands to…
To esteem the wife before himself
To think of his wife more highly than himself
To respect his wife before all others
To recognize his wife as having first priority in his life
To hold his wife in the highest opinion
To place his wife’s will before and above his own will
…in part because she is physically weaker.
What’s that mean and look like in our marriages?
Ex. The dishes
You come home after a hard day at work only to find that your stay at home wife didn’t get the dishes done and the kitchen clean.
Further investigation reveals that she had a really tough day with the kids and she’s got a raging headache from listening to your son make car noises all day.
What do you do to honor her.
Make her a cup of her favorite tea, tell her hide in her room and relax while you get the kids off to baths and bed…
…then do the dishes and clean the kitchen.
Why?
Cause you’re the big strong man!
So, any of you ladies that were put off by the “weaker vessel” thing want to argue about it now? J
Motivation
√ Don't wait to change!
Men, you might be thinking…
"You've made some good points, but I'm not ready to change right now."
I'd suggest that you look at the end of verse 7…
“that your prayers may not be
hindered.”
Peter points out that there is good reason for husbands to follow his instructions…
…answered prayers
God takes your treatment of your wife very seriously!
Listen, if you want to have an open door with the Father in prayer, then you better make sure that you’re taking care of His daughter!
In light of how important prayer is for the apprehension of God’s promises to you…
…it’s a serious matter to realize that what you are speaking to God about can be either hindered, or blessed, based upon how you treat your wife!
Ap. Are your prayers being answered?
It may be a good time to take a serious look at how you treat your wife.
Do you really…
Understand her
Honor/respect her
Love her
…as we’ve talked about this morning?
Guys – listen, if your marriage isn’t what it should be it’s probably your fault.
Please – give some time to thinking your marriage relationship over. Take it to the Lord in prayer and allow His Spirit to search your heart.
If you’ll invest the time and attention into your wife you will find that woman respond well and quickly to your effort and affection.
It’s up to you.
Close
If you will follow the Lord’s instructions here you will find that…
Your marriage relationship will be everything you hoped it would be.
Your Christian witness will have greater power.
You’ll protect your marriage from sin.
√ God’s thoughts on your wife
Pro.
Pro.
Pro. 31:10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.